Today is our Ramseys birthday, and next year if it’s in God’s will he’ll have a “sibling” lol. Okay, okay I have to be honest. I KNOW i was sarcastic when I made a revelation. To my close friends even, I became “crazy”. It’s TRUE, I won’t deny it. I am NOT a baby person, i don’t think I will be, but if it’s in God’s plans then there is a reason. However it’s beyond that.
REASONS why I was scared/paranoid. (I actually had a baffle with my Papa since he noticed I was shutting everyone off last week, in other words became extremely EXTREMELY depressed)
1. I did all things to make my uterus contract because I was NEGATIVE (according to 15 pregnancy tests, different brands). I took raw papaya juice, pineapple, drank Cerveza Negra and MORE!!!!!
2. I did SLIMMING treatments (ReshapeTX etc) and this is not allowed for pregnancy
3. I was Unhealthy, cept for the fact that I take a lot of vitamins and collagen, I hardly eat.
I HONESTLY PANICKED. I DON’T want to be blamed that’s why I became paranoid, and because there was a belief that if you “post early it won’t happen or get jinxed” even if I didn’t believe and not believe it rather since I believe in God’s power more, I did it. Anyway I hid all my posts after the complex mass discovery, and after yesterday.. when AchiDoc said that they found a “sac” although quite early I was a bit relieved. I also asked AchiDOC about my concerns and she said it was okay - it was an innocent mistake - no once could’ve guessed either way. It’s not a common situation, it actually sounds like a tv episode from a film. Just like my appendicitis story again. Not common, rare, but typical for me.
I was asked: “How do you feel?”
I’m honestly Overwhelmed. I’m honestly floating, nothing has sinked in. Everything is happening too fast. From Negative, to positive, to compex mass, to gestational sac. It’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride really, I’m thankful for the support my family and friends.
And to be honest, how I feel really? When i saw my papa and when he said “I’m so happy” even if we had a huge banter the night before because of me cycling....
Photographed them rods while they cycled. At least I’m doing what I love. :(
Commentaires